James Blackstone

@blackstonejn.bsky.social

473 Followers 177 Following

Unemployed Circus Clown

medieval art depicting death; some lady in a red dress holding a string in some country side and on the other side is death? No hood or scythe, so this must be before episode four.
Random text: “You are too funny, I swear. (crying laughing emoji) Reat in peace to the legend Walter. Anyway, what are you up to today? Do you know who you are talking to?” Me: “I think it’s Thursday so I have a standing appointment to fight under the bridge. My caller ID says Santa Claus but it’s tooewarly for that so, I’m assuming you’re just using his phone.”
Random text: “Oh my god, you cannot be serious! (skull emoji) Please tell me you’re joking, because that is an iconic way to go out. Rest in peace, Walter!” Me: “Appreciate it. He was one of a kind and his legacy will be one that lives on in the hearts of those he touched. Remember to tell the the people close to you how much you love them before they use smuggled fireworks from Guatemala.”
Random text cont: “I don’t know whether to laugh or cry! Walter White really lived up to his name until the very end. Jokes aside, I’m so sorry to hear about your guinea pig.” Me: “Thank you. I’m starting a gofundme for his memorial service. His dying wish was for his ashes to be scattered on the Universal Studios tour ride when Jaws pops out of the water.”
Random text: “Hi! I was just thinking about you and wanted to catch up. How’s everything going?” Me: “Not great. Walter White, my guinea pig died.” Me again:”He was doing a dramatic reenactment of Season 4, Episode 13 of Breaking Bad when there was an accident with the pyrotechnics.”
Picture of a bird with the words Nuttall’s Woodpecker, Dryobates nuttallii, with 1680 sightings from the Picture Bird app
Jiles Perry Richardson Jr., better known by his stage name The Big Bopper (October 24, 1930 – February 3, 1959) He’s sofa king dead.
Guardian Article headline: “Loss of manual jobs could be driving toxic masculinity, says Sting” Yeah, that Sting. The singer.
Kevin Sorbo of ‘Bernie the Dolphin 1 & 2’ fame is quote X-ing? Elon “My Cars Explode” Musk about their odd obsession with the new Odyssey movie. Sorbo makes a dumb comment about the visual comparison between Greece in the movie vs Greece at the beach. Musk is claiming Chris Nolan desecrated the Odyssey to get an Academy Award. Couple of dorks doing dork stuff.
Picture of all the James Bond’s and the words “Who Do You Think Should Be The Next James Bond?”
It looks like a smoothie/shake cup, but it’s a cat.
An overhead shot of a Spirit Airlines plane on a tarmac
The brave and talented astronaut, Christina Hammock gazing upon the stupidest and most evil man to ever hold the office of the president with look of contempt that that genocidal motherfucker deserves. If he thinks he can be an astronaut, duct tape him to a rocket and make the dream come true.
The “shooter” at last night’s event. Apparently naked and covered in an emergency blanket from the waist down while handcuffed. Because he was invisible until the portion wore off.
Greed is driving the US market with an arbitrary rate of 69 - Noice
Rate Limit Exceeded error on Notifications during the Bluesky Blackout of 2026
Not found forbidden try again error message during the Bluesky Blackout 2026
An excerpt from an article about China entering the US and Israel war against Iran on Iran’s side has this line “Shoulder fired missiles, known as MANPADS, are capable of shooting down low-flying aircraft.”
A floral chesterfield couch from the 19th century looking like a slut
A quad amputee is being accused of murder but the mug shot looks like they’d be a star at fast pitch, or try to move in after the first date. A lesbian. They look like a lesbian. There. I said it. Happy?
Dune chapter tres leches, subheading Dune it up mofo- bold of them to make the third one a longer version of the Great British Bake Off
Picture of a bird with a cigarette and the slug line “Why some birds seem to be developing a cigarette habit”
Pete Hegseth showing off the Pentagon’s new chimera program fusing the dungenuss crab and mango for a super weapon capable of confusing the enemy
Crude Oil Futures are going up for some reason
Former Prince Andrew going to jail
An empty drafts folder on Bluesky. It’s a new feature, people. And the butthole muse has been stuck in traffic.
Shear Madness playing at the Kennedy Center from February 3 to now July 4, 2026. Find out who did it! It’ll surprise ya!
Little Caesars mascot from the 80’s that said “Pizza! Pizza!”
Mr Sketch scented markers. For the kids whose parents were going through a bitter divorce.
A diagram of a giant squid versus a colossal squid versus an octopus for scale
AI bullshit version of Elvis at 90. He’d be bald as fuck, AI. You fool, you absolute fool.
Welcome to the Working Week by Elvis Costello from his album My Aim is True playing now
Seth Abramson engaging is his trademarked histrionics while reporting as fact the crazy shit Trump says and lies about
Magic Dick from The J. Geils Band
Van Halen 1984 album cover of a little angel smoking because they’re cool as fuck
Drudge Report headline “No Full Release” no shit
A really funny person who understands comedy and social media posting better than I do blocked me for promoting my SoundCloud. Not everyone is a fan of polka, I suppose.
My 2025 Apple Top Artist like 1. Grateful Dead, 2. Lainey Wilson, 3. The Beatles, 4. B.B. King and 5. Slipknot
Dude got stuck in a German vagina statue. And they say romance is dead.
The ‘97 Ford Probe GT in purple with Probe! in bold above it.
Somebody craving dick and Dick Sargent with a knowing smile
Jesus never directly addressed AI because carpenters do the math in their head
Dick Sargent
AI plunger. Why a steering wheel?
Doc Brown committed - the alternate reality paper from Back to the Future 2
KISS founder Ace Frehley dead…suffered brain breed after nasty fall…
“Bert and Ernie slippers for ADULTS,” they said with their big kid voice.
A Hawaiian shirt that says yes I’ve unironically watched and enjoyed a Chuck Norris movie
The backside of the Nobel Peace Prize is three dudes docking back and forth
A picture of a mouse and a bottle of bleach with the words “Do you have mice in your house? Do this.”
18th century bidet chair. Monsieur Crappes.
Trump rambled about railroads and Chicago for a full two minutes more after threatening an ABC corespondent over perceived “hate speech.”
Mass shootings in the US since 1982 to August 2025. Itta went uppa.
Six time English mustache world champion Patrick Fete
Enjoy the Silence by Depeche Mode. Now playing.
I’m not Nina
JB says being so spicy might affect your ulcer, Gene.
Remake the Monster Squad. Hope springs eternal.
Two tits
Dumb sign for dumb restaurant