Coach Gowron

@coachgowron.com

10010 Followers 51 Following

You will be inspired, or else.

The Sphere in Las Vegas, but it's Gowron
Coach Gowron holding a bat'leth made of lightsabers. May the Brute Force be with you.
Image shows a movie screen displaying a frame from the movie Little Shop of Horrors, with Rick Moranis and the plant Audrey II. Along the top is the title "Coach Gowron and Nagus At the Movies" and underneath is the stylized logo for "Little Shop of Horrors." Along the bottom is a silhouette of movie theatre chairs and shadows of the Grand Nagus and Gowron in the style of MST3K.
Coach Gowron as Bob Ross holding a paint brush and standing in front of a painting on an easel. The painting is of the Trans flag. Happy Trans Visibility Day!
Matthew McConaughey, looking contemplative, sitting in a cafe window while rain beats down steadily outside. The Pi symbol appears in a bright white font in front of him. What does it all mean? Tune in Friday, March 14 at 3:14 EDT to find out.
Mysterious video showing a cafe in the rain, with ambient rainfall sounds. A graphic is overlaid showing the Pi symbol, with the date 2025.03.14 and the time 3:14 PM EDT. A strangely familiar voice begins reciting a series of numbers, ending with "6... 9... Alright alright alright."
Mysterious graphic showing the Pi symbol, with the date 2025.03.14 and the time 3:14 PM EDT. Very mysterious. What could it be telling us? Stay tuned.
Star Trek DS9 trading card with the title Gowron Fakes His Death, and a picture of Gowron, um, dying.
Gold Participaction badge that reads FLEXED EYELID HANG FIRST PLACE
Coach Gowron's Cookie Heist. Pictured: Cousin Nu'Daq holding a bat'leth, Lawrence Fishburne wearing a child's Spock helmet, Coach Gowron as Neo, and Ensign Amens as Trinity
Coach Gowron standing in front of an outdoor swimming pool that appears to be filled with yellow liquid cheese. He is wearing a bulbous blue Speedo swim cap with a large dripping blob of nacho cheese on it. He is also wearing swim goggles, has a red lifeguard whistle clenched in his teeth, and is holding a red lifeguard floatation pontoon. Behind him in the swimming pool the top half of Morn's head is emerging from the queso, with cheese covering the top of his head and dripping down his face.
Coach Gowron at a curling rink throwing a yellow stone.
Coach Gowron rendered as a cartoon character in the style of Coach Z from Homestar Runner. He is green with a white face with only bulbous eyes and a mustache and triangle beard. On his chest is a very large medallion with the letter G on it. He has a backwards ballcap and is holding up both arms in a kind of shrug. In his left hand he holds a cartoon bat'leth. In the background is a school gym slightly out of focus.
Coach Gowron wearing a hockey helmet and holding a hockey stick with a rink in the background. On the boards in the background is an ad for Kaga's Gagh Hut.
Magazine cover titled 'Space Gym Explorer' featuring Chief O'Brien getting a makeover via transporter beam. Headlines include topics like 'Transporter Body Sculpting: Worth the Horrifying Risks?', 'Logical Leg Day: Get a Dump Truck Like Tuvok', and 'Dr. Soong's Positronic Butt Implants'. Other articles include telepathic gym etiquette, supplement recalls, and top replicator recipes.
Coach Gowron, seen from behind, is sitting on the floor in front of an 80s-era TV with an Atari 2600 attached to it. A stack of Atari cartridges and a joystick are on the red carpet in front of him On screen is the classic game Atari Adventure.
A sepia toned photograph of a 19th century boxer with Gowron's head.
A choir on stage, wearing black formal attire and singing. Coach Gowron is in the middle row on the left, also wearing a tuxedo, and belting out a tune that can be heard all the way to Sto'vo'kor
A festive Christmas-themed gift-wrapped item shaped like a bat'leth, adorned with green wrapping paper featuring Santa Claus patterns and a shiny green bow on top. A small tag attached reads: "To: Chief O'Brien From: Santa." The scene is set on a wooden table surrounded by decorative elements like pine branches, ornaments, and wrapped presents, adding a cozy holiday vibe.
Gowron wearing a Santa hat and grinning/grimacing charmingly (for a Klingon) through a frost coated window. In his hand is a present wrapped with green paper with Santa Claus heads decorating it. The present is clearly a bat'leth and has a large green bow and a tag that says To: Alexander From: Gowron Claus.
Coach Gowron standing in what appears to be a school sewing and crafts room, clutching four teddy bears in front of him.
Post from a redacted user reading "I don't give a shit about self improvement so I'm blocking you!" Heartbreaking.
Parody book cover for The 7 Habits of Highly Honorable People. The title is emblazoned in large white letters over a picture of Gowron in profile looking series. The subtitle is printed in gold lettering below and reads "Powerful lessons of punching for glory" and underneath in white is "Forward by Richard Page." That's the lead singer of Mr. Mister by the way. At the bottom in large gold letters reads "Coach Gowron." In a gold badge on the center left of the cover are the words "How honorable are you? Will you follow the Way of the Warrior or the PetaQ?"
Coach Gowron in a dark room holding a bat'leth made out of lightsabers
Chief O'Brien as a Borg drone, standing in the corridor of a Borg cube with drone pod bays behind him. He is wearing Borg armor and has a green glowing implant over his right eye. His right hand has been replaced with a plunger and his left hand has been replaced with a red pipe wrench. A large key ring is attached to his waist.
Dammit Nu'Daq!
Coach Gowron wearing red judge rivers and a black judge hat, parodying Q from Star Trek The Next Generation. He sits on a wooden throne with decorative animals carved on its posts. He scowls judgementally toward presumably the rest of the courtroom.
Dammit, Nu'Daq!
A poster for Cats With Bat'leths. It is a parody of the iconic Cats musical poster, with yellow cats eyes on a black background and the title underneath in a handprinted font. Under the eyes is an upturned Klingon bat'leth that gives the appearance of a smile. Blood drips from the right tip of the bat'leth. Inside the yellow eyes is a silhouette of dancing cats holding Bat'leths. At the bottom of the poster is the text "Directed by Coach Gowron" and in smaller text "Musical arrangement by Mr. Groovy"
Parody of a Better Call Saul advertisement with black and red text on a yellow background that reads: in legal trouble? Better Call Quark. Shuttle accident. War crimes. Slip & fall. Transporter accidents. D.U.I. Latinum fraud. Ransom. Parking tickets. Flower bed trespassing. Drug dealing. Space station plumbing disaster. Sue 'em now! On the right is a black and white illustration of Quark smiling and pointing toward the camera. A red bar on the bottom has the following text in yellow: Not toll free (505) 503-4455 Se habla Espanol.
Extreme close up of a penguin's mouth.
Mugato from Star Trek. Basically a dude in a white gorilla suit with a horn sticking out of the top of his head.
Coach Gowron stands with arms raised, holding a quivering conductor's baton in his left hand (which is the incorrect hand for a conductor, but Klingons are built different). Behind him are rows of empty seats, indicating that he is facing the stage. He is wearing a white bowtie, and in front of him is a music stand.
Parody artwork styled after the cover of the 1970 stop-motion film Santa Claus is Comin' to Town. The image features three characters: Kris Kringle, dressed in red Santa-like attire, holding hands with the Winter Warlock, a tall figure in a flowing icy blue robe with a white beard. To their left Coach Gowron as a Funko Pop-style figure, wearing a 'COACH' hat and wielding a dodgeball menacingly. The text at the bottom reads, 'Off to slay the Burgermeister Meisterburger,' in bold red font.
Coach Gowron wearing smart looking glasses. Cuz he's smart. The text is in the title font from Star Trek: The Next Generation and reads "QUIET! I'M INTELLECTUALIZING!"
Gowron smiling broadly and wearing nerdy black rimmed glasses. Nerdy but honorable!
Book cover in the style of the infamous "Dummies" reference books, titled "Fitness for petaQs". The yellow cover features a black and white cartoon drawing of Coach Gowron holding a dagger and smiling menacingly. A speech bubble above his head reads "Victory is temporary. Fitness is eternal!" The teaser above the title reads "Gloriously revised! Your guide to strengthening your pathetic body!" Under the title the text reads: "First Imperial Edition A reference for the rest of us! Coach Gowron, Coach Elmsdale High School Gym Teacher Doug Westmore, PhD Sector 001 School Board President Brad, Human Intern Human Intern"
A Christmas wreath hung against a white wood panelled wall. Along the bottom in bright red and green are the words "Chief on a Wreath." In the middle of the wreath is an action figure of Chief O'Brien from Deep Space Nine. He is wearing an elf hat and a shoulder harness, and holding janitorial accessories: a ring of keys and a large plunger.
Coach Gowron sitting in a chair in front of a fireplace decorated with wreaths, candles, a Christmas stocking, and Christmas tree. In his hand he's holding a copy of A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.
Coach Gowron's Nerf Child's Bat'leth. Red Nerf toy in a Bat'leth pattern.
Coach Gowron on a Wheaties box with the tag Wheaties Champion. Coach is wearing a ballcap with the word Coach on it and holding a clipboard with Grade 10 Pickleball written on it.
A vinyl record album on a wooden background with the record sticking out from the right hand side. The album cover is a parody of Dr. Dre's "The Chronic" and has "Gowron" printed in curved letters across the top, an oval picture of Gowron grimacing in the center inside an illustrated mirror frame, and the title "The Qonic" underneath. In the bottom righthand corner of the album cover is an Explicit Lyrics Parental Advisory Sticker
Coach Gowron wearing a Men in Black suit with sunglasses and holding a memory erasing thingy.
Coach Gowron in a recording booth wearing large black headphones with a black headband. In front of him is a large microphone.
Parody of the Die Hard poster. On the right hand side is Coach Gowron's face half in darkness (where Bruce Willis's face is in the original poster). In the center is an office building being attacked by a Klingon Bird of Prey with an explosion (the Praxis explosion from Star Trek VI) radiating from the top. The poster text is: 40 STORIES OF HONOR AND GLORY! High above Starfleet Headquarters, the Romulan swim team has seized a building, taken hostages, and declared war. One Warrior has managed to escape: an off duty Coach with nothing left to lose. He's alone, furious, and the only chance anyone has. COACH GOWRON DIE HARD TWENTY-FOURTH CENTURY FOX Presents A DOUG WESTMORE JOINT starring COACH GOWRON as COACH DIE HARD GOWRIX UTHOMA of HOUSE t'HYRA COUSIN NU'DAQ DOCTOR KITTENS ALF NAGUS score by MR. GROOVY featuring songs by MR. MISTER ventilation shaft consultant CHIEF MILES O'BRIEN caterer JIM'S COLESLAW SHACK disappointment WORF based on the rock opera DIE SLOWLY, DIE HARD by MR. MISTER
Inspirational poster of a starfield with a glowing blue nebula, with a translucent Coach Gowron in the lower left corner. He's wearing his Coach hat and looking up, as if contemplating the wonders of the universe. In the upper right is the following text in a green Star Trek font: You miss 100% of the disruptor shots you do not take - Gowron
Old black and white newspaper print ad, featuring Coach Gowron sitting behind a desk looking serious and pensive with his chin on his hand. In front of him on the desk is a fax machine. The paper on the fax machine reads "To: Chief From: Gowron" The text of the ad reads: Coach Gowron knows a thing or two about honor. And in today's busy office environment, honor dictates that If it's really important... If you really care... Send it by Fax. Panasonic.
Image with Cousin Nu'Daq passed out in the corner, with the words "QUIET! You'll wake Nu'Daq" emblazoned on the top.
The Dean from the show Community standing in front of the logo for the Ty'Gokor Community College. He has Klingon ridges on his forehead and menacing bushy Klingon eyebrows.
Picture of a building with a red cloudy sky above it. There is a Klingon Bird of Prey in the sky. On the building are the letters TY'GOKOR COMMUNITY COLLEGE and a logo which features mekleths in an asterisk pattern on a pink background. It kind of looks like an anus. In the foreground is a black marble statue of Coach Gowron holding a dodgeball, in the style of a Funko Pop.
A parody action figure package featuring with the words COACH GOWRON across the top. A Coach Gowron figurine is on the right with a whistle in his mouth. Next to him under plastic packaging is a coach hat, six dodge balls, and a clipboard. In the left side of the package is a Brad action figure: a generic redshirt with a BRAD name tag. To his right is a dodge ball pump and below that a milk carton with a MISSING label which features a picture of Brad. At the bottom left is an inset picture of Coach Gowron and a dead Redshirt. Underneath is the caption Coach Gowron & Human Intern Brad, with Coach Hat, Dodgeballs, Clipboard, Dodgeball Pump, Brad.
Parody of the poster for Kindergarten Cop, with the title Kindergarten Coach at the bottom. Shows Coach Gowron attempting to wrangle a number of children who are tugging on his clothes. One child has a green face and is presumably an Orion. The child on the right has Vulcan ears, eyebrows, and hairstyle. The child on Coach's shoulder is an Antidean and is blowing a party streamer in Coach's face. At the top in large blue crayon font is Coach Gowron, and underneath and to the right is the tag line "Go ahead, you tell him you didn't bring your bat'leth". On the bottom is the title Kindergarten Coach, where the word "Kindergarten" is printed in multicolored childlike letters. Underneath the title is a second tag line: "As a gym coach turned substitute teacher, he's in a class by himself"
2 dimensional animated Coach Gowron in the style of Lower Decks. He is wearing a blue baseball cap with COACH emblazoned on it and is holding a red Dodgeball. He is standing in front of a deactivated holdodeck with the yellow grid lines and gateway arch visible behind him.
A translucent image of Kahless the Unforgettable superimposed over a blue sky with sunbeams glowing majestically through the clouds, in the style of religious inspirational posters. The text, in fancy script, reads: "It is okay if you do not believe in Kahless. He does not believe in you, either."
A group of children in a school gym underneath a multi-colored parachute. Several of the children are holding d'k tahgs (Klingon daggers). In the foreground is Coach Gowron wearing his traditional ballcap with the word COACH emblazoned on it. He appears very excited about Parachute Day.
Coach Gowron looking confused and enraged in sea of dancers with their arms raised. Multiple disco balls hang overhead.
Quiet. I am being inspirational
Gymnastics team posing in a gymnasium, with Coach Gowron standing in the foreground, arms crossed, and looking intense. He's wearing a blue ball cap with the school team logo on it. The background features gymnastic beams and a banner reading 'Today Is A Good Day To Die.' On the wall on the right is a logo for the school team, the Elmsdale Targs.