GOOBER © (Official)

@goober.bsky.social

1201 Followers 638 Following

culture war veteran 3 tours. simper fi hoo rah guineas world record holder for flop posting 🏅 Pfp alt text: Marjorie Taylor Greene with a comically large mouth Header alt text: Uhaul logo but it says "uhhhhhh" He/Him

Instagram DM to Lip Critic's Stories: wow ur coming nowhere near me guess ill just die FUCKING MISSI FUCKING SIPPI BUT CANT PLAY KANSAS CITY IM GONNA EAT A SHOTGUN FUCK MY LIFE DO PEOPLE IN MISSISSIPPI EVEN UNDERSTAND MUSIC? LOWEST EDUCATION SCORES IN THE USA. WHAT ARE WE DOING [Seperate reply to a selfie story] m y p p leaky now
tv playing political ad about some dumb fuck
me sitting on steps with a camo shirt on, black shorts a black hat that says "chat pile" in purple but its that metal logo font that looks like sticks and roots. Im wearing black ray bans i have a mustache
playlist photo on Spotify of a guy that loosely resembles Mark Cuban. goober cant post good anymore wek post. not worth pressing like. maybe unfollow him even
my leg is bare with silver boxer briefs. My socks and shoes are on alo g with my shirt. You can see my bed with gray sheets and potentially the culprit of the situation a weed cart
potato poorly made into a Bratz cowgirl doll with the transparent background thats not transparent
me holding a coke zero with a green pioneer seeds hat on. Im making g a stupid face with my teeth showing I have a handlebar mustache square glasses a nose ring both ears pierced im wearing headphones over my ears. In the top left corner of the selfie it says refreshing coka kola
KCUR NPR Article "US Education Department says 4 Kansas districts broke federal law with gender identity policies"
oil drainage out the side of brick wall
"Mens" lip balm
ad for an app that says 30-day drinking reset is all it takes
Harry styles pilgrim hat with spandex shorts with suspenders looking at the camera white background
goober at work in a mirror selfie jean jacket black pants dark rimmed glasses mustache black shirt curly hair thats short. Im wearing a man purse chipped painted black nails
Dwayne the rock Johnson for no reason
atticle titile "psychology says the loneliest part of retirement isnt being alone -- it's realizing tha..."
the three thumb people from spy kids. they are completely made of thumbs feet are thumbs hands are thumbs and head is a thumb
draft that says "so sick of performative men being feminist, i havent been shoving tampons in my asshole for 9 years in solidarity with females for you to read one book and decide you're also gonna shove tampons in your ass too in 2026"
Google searches of "Could the blood in my shit be from my roomate ranking me?" "is shitting blood bad for your social status?" "can you be healthy and still shit blood?" "why do people shit blood?"
goober lying in his tent, his glasses are glowing from his phone his face fills the screen he's looking back and forth, smiling
goobers band chat where he said "hey you guys should look up goatsie on Google and turn off safe search because its a scary looking cat"
Aurora Borealis shimmering pinks, light green reflecting off a small body of water
bunch of roots on the creek bank resembling a metal band name
Snapchat conversation carl: 9/11 make a wish Me: towers
sign inside of gym that says "if you use me please put me back thank you"
ad for a alleged cheeseburger pizza stuffed popper
cream colored shipping container that has a bunch of numbers im too fucking lazy to type out but its for the max load weight etc. it says it can hold 74.6 cu.m.
My hand holding a Stella artois
in this house We do dog tags We do real We do last minute We do deployments We do mistakes We do hugs We do video chat We do really loud We do patriotic We do love
text between goober and a troll Picture troll sent of goobers government name being signed up for turning point usa Goober replies: im already a member of turning point usa Troll: who's neck did you kneel on to get in goober: not charlie kirks cuz he doesnt have one
message exchange between two friends Goober: turn your fucking brights off for fucks sake (anytime a trucker fucks up just gonna pretend jts you and text you to knock it the fuck off) friend: I'll fucking kill yku when I see you [goober hearted the message with love]
joe Rogan deep fried
bigg hoss from pawnstars
Black background with two medowlark butterflies in the top left. A table with flowers has rain clouds above it giving the flowers their own personal watering. Theres a long red shadow casted by the table. In the middle of the painting the words "remember us? When?" With "us" crossed out with s single line.
c+ draft rating. Projected to go 0-15 and get last place in 12th.
Charlie Kirk face with massive gums and a mullet wearing a jean jacket working in a guitar center. his face is smaller than the head
acrylic painting of what appears to be a multi colored psychedelic zebra with a mans head who has 6 eyes and a man bun. The zebra is white with stain glass looking pinks, yellow, blue. It is looking back a bit surprised at an ocean mammal with the head of a man with long flowing brown hair. The dolphman has a cleft chin that looks like butt cheeks. He is sporting a bow and arrow. The background is a flower Black hole sun looking thing shining orange and red. The sides of the painting feature an aqua green with shimmering effect on the right, and an orange pink shimmer effect on the left.
deep fried meme of Dwayne the rock Johnson Top text: one two skip a few Bottom text: ninety nine a hundred
tyler Gordon's profile. His pfp is a guitar his cover photo is a hockey player. In his bio it says Phish, NHL, NFL and Guitar! the quoted post is my reply to tyler after he said I suck at being human. The screenshot includes his reply to my post telling me "im rocking pronouns, sit the fuck down"
large brown female pitbull, white accents around her nose. pink collar. shes sitting on the couch looking alert and willing to kill for the household
a brown pitbull with a white stripe in between her eyes perks up from behind an ottoman when asked if she wants a pizza bone
cheese pizza in a box. bubbly black burnt crust to perfection
front page of new york times quoting this post by goober.
white man professional bowler with an afro. Hes holding a bowling ball with a blue shirt. hes white and has an afro
didnt get a strike with the bowling ball lost the mortgage
singer of nirvana John nirvana
boomer memes
digital painting 2000px X 2000px blood Red background with a crudely thrown together old man in a black suit with a blue tie. it looks like this shit was painted by a 4 year old honestly. the figure has green looking eyes and loosely resembles Joe biden maybe? Idk his teeth are yellow looking and he looks as if hes in a lot of pain. he probably is. This world is cruel and hes been alive for 98 years so they put him in congress.
message request in the dms from a lady named Mary Anal
A text from the number 2019 that says "not available"
brown pit bull smelling a piss rock in the city
acrylic painting of joe biden. it barely looks like him. poorly painted with red looking Lazer eyes. greenish blue background
goober texting his manager "I may not be able to work today. I gotta pay a guy to get my penial gland recalcified"
jeff Gordon "If a guy rubs on me hard im gonna rub right back but my first approach is to do it clean so I feel a lot better about myself when its all over"
Hard to see dark video but you can see the glowing eyes of the rabbit drinking up goobers fresh piss
Bart Simpson in camo with a gun war in the gulf 1991 I was there dude and it sucked!!!! Operation Desert Storm