Thom Lawrence 🍋👀

@lemonwatcher.com

316 Followers 99 Following

We want the finest wines available to humanity. We want them here, and we want them now.
A BBC ticker with the headline "Soon: Moon mission splashdown", with the headline "Foreign Secretary: Thoughts are with those affected by 'tragic' crash" below.
Our protagonist, being a large child, has once again procured a Where’s Wally advent calendar this Christmas. While the daily chocolate is appreciated, it’s the opportunity to flex his mental and visual acuity in his dotage that truly drives him. Each door contains a challenge, a figure to find in the crowded scene. And each year, for some reason, they print some of them directly next to the newly opened door, destroying any sense of achievement in his increasingly meaningless existence.
Deck 4 Deeproot Pilgrimage (LCI) 52 4 Deepfathom Echo (LCI) 228 4 Summon: Leviathan (FIN) 77 4 Mindspring Merfolk (DFT) 51 4 Forensic Researcher (MKM) 58 1 Island (USG) 336 4 Cavern of Souls (LCI) 269 4 Fleeting Reflection (OTJ) 49 4 Secluded Courtyard (NEO) 275 4 Hedge Maze (MKM) 262 4 Breeding Pool (EOE) 251 1 Forest (USG) 348 2 Patchwork Banner (BLB) 247 4 Floodpits Drowner (DSK) 59 4 White Lotus Tile (TLA) 262 4 Cenote Scout (LCI) 178 4 Willowrush Verge (DFT) 270
A grave containing one or more Skellingtons.
Our protagonist drafted a deck containing Singularity Rupture, Mutinous Massacre and The Endstone. Arguably all he had to do was live to cast them, but this simple task was beyond him.
Our protagonist has cleverly situated his camping chair in the beautiful pine and birch forest of the Sunrise Arena at Latitude Festival, such that he can just about see the singer’s head and nothing else.
A puppy that looks like J. K. Simmons.
1 Zack Fair 1 Sleep Magic 1 World Map 1 Syncopate 1 Dreams of Laguna 1 Ultros, Obnoxious Octopus 2 Chocobo Kick 1 Goobbue Gardener 1 Garnet, Princess of Alexandria 1 Kinnan, Bonder Prodigy 1 Jill, Shiva's Dominant 1 Qiqirn Merchant 1 Quistis Trepe 1 Magitek Armor 1 Reach the Horizon 1 Summon: Shiva 1 Ice Flan 1 Balamb T-Rexaur 1 Coliseum Behemoth 1 Sin, Spira's Punishment 1 Summon: Knights of the Round 1 Absolute Virtue 2 Plains 3 Island 1 Swamp 6 Forest 2 Sharlayan, Nation of Scholars 1 Treno, Dark City 2 Crossroads Village
The incredibly high-tech powerful fan that our protagonist purchased because he buys electronic goods to fill the deep yawning voids in his life.
2 Syncopate 3 Ice Magic 2 Sahagin 1 Ultros, Obnoxious Octopus 3 Combat Tutorial 1 Swallowed by Leviathan 1 Overkill 2 Cornered by Black Mages 1 Emet-Selch, Unsundered 2 Locke Cole 3 Eject 1 Sephiroth's Intervention 1 Ice Flan 1 Summon: Primal Odin 7 Island 8 Swamp 1 Treno, Dark City
Our protagonist's BGu deck has a board of nine creatures, most notable being Neo Exdeath, Dimension's End which hit for 26 damage last turn due to Summon: Titan's third chapter, and Vana'Diel Adventurers, which would win the game on our draw step due to our empty library, had our opponent with a fairly good UW artifacts deck not conceded.
1 Coral Sword 1 Crystal Fragments 1 Adelbert Steiner 1 Coeurl 4 Slash of Light 2 White Mage's Staff 4 Red Mage's Rapier 1 Summon: Brynhildr 1 Giott, King of the Dwarves 1 Gaelicat 1 Joshua, Phoenix's Dominant 2 White Auracite 1 Gilgamesh, Weapon Collector 1 Gilgamesh, Master-at-Arms 1 Choco-Comet 8 Plains 7 Mountain 1 Rabanastre, Royal City 1 Crossroads Village
Our protagonist is teaching some three year old boys how to toast, having filled their glasses with a fizzy substance that we can only hope is non-alcoholic.
Your protagonist 3-0s with a Grixis reanimatorish deck with a couple of moxen.
Our protagonist is beating down in Magic: the Gathering online with a 4/5 flying angel rabbit which has recently fathered 4 bunnies, and will soon sire another 6. A Mother of Runes looks on with matronly appreciation at the affordable housing and accessible childcare that has made this fecundity possible.
Our protagonist admires 30 Securitron Squadron triggers on the stack in a game of Magic: the Gathering online. The smugness is intensified by the knowledge that if the squadrons aren't up to the job, he could Strip Mine multiple times or use Crop Rotation to find Dark Depths and unleash a 20/20 Marit Lage. The days are growing short, but they're getting a lot wider for our opponent.
A door of a Where’s Wally advent calendar tasking us with finding a top hat in a crowded image. Disappointingly, the hat is mere millimetres away from the door, rendering this morning’s frisson of nostalgia and joy utterly inert.