Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago...

@markturetsky.com

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Audiobook narrator, I also write about comics and Trek. And Trek comics. Recent-ish: A Place Both Wonderful and Strange: The Extraordinary Untold History of Twin Peaks and Goosebumps: Night of the Giant Everything Upcoming: Gamers 2: Leveling Up He/him

Brad Pitt looking smug in the movie F-1, with the meme text "I sleep in a race car. Do you?"
Thomas Riker removes the fake cheek portions of his beard, revealing he has a Trek-style goatee, signifying evil.
A gif from The Dark Crystal. It's a bunch of Skeksis (birdlike muppets) in noble-looking regalia, standing in a semicircle looking toward the camera. They are all staring intently at their point of focus in anticipation.
A photo of me, framed by a fancy box that says "Narrator of Distinction, Professional Audiobook Narrators Association" 2025 finalist
A still from Return of the Jedi. The Emperor is talking to Vader and there are two guys standing looking at them, visually between them in the frame. They're old white guys, wearing ostentatious purple velvet clothes. One has a hat that looks like a bunch of purple flat caps stacked atop one another and the other is wearing a hat that looks like a head-sized purple marshmallow. These guys are listed in the wiki as "Imperial Advisers" but they don't have any lines and don't do anything in the movie except for being around for part of a scene.
It's the big dracula jamboree from Sinners, except instead of the Irish vampire dancing a jig, it's Marty McFly playing Johnny B Goode from Back to the Future
A (fake) Newsweek cover. It's Zod's gang from Superman 2 on the cover, with the text over them that says "Bisexuality: Not gay. Not straight. A new sexual identity emerges"
A comic panel. Captain Britain is on the left side, grabbing his shoulder in pain. He shouts "GUUGH!" On the right is the bad guy. He's holding up his hand, which looks sharp. He says, "The pain surprises you, Captain? You are alarmed at how easily I could breach your force field leaving that point unprotected. Then you are not aware of what I have done to my arm? It is a ninja trick. You know of the ninjas, of course?"
Sam and Max, Freelance Police.
A screenshot of Audrey Horne from Twin Peaks. She's in the diner, talking to Donna. She is saying, "Yeah, well, I'm going to do my own investigation. With blackjack... and hookers!"
Two comics panels. The first shows a woman mid-transformation into a tree. She has little branches coming out of her head where hair should go and her hands are becoming gnarled. Caption reads "Then, in one horrifying instant, where a woman once stood..." Second panel shows a tree that's roughly person shaped. It somehow has a face with eyes and a mouth and two branches that are definitely arms. Caption reads, "... There now stands only a gnarled and leafless tree! To be continued..."
A comic panel. A giant rises up from the ground while a wizard stands in the foreground summing it. Caption reads, "A terrifying figure emerged from beneath the earth... imprisoned by prehistoric wizards at the dawn of time, it was now free..."
A comic title blurb, that says, "Sent on a quest by Merlin, to mystery-shrouded Cornwall... The Black Knight"
A scene from Star Trek: Lower Decks. Boimler is in a small room. There is one window and a door. Out the window can be seen a black mountain set against a cloudy sky. The floor is a black and white chevron pattern. There is a purple armchair with a koala. The koala is light blue and glowing. There is also a floor lamp which provides most of the light and across the room from the koala is a side table.
A robin sits on a window sill eating a bug
In the background, 5 people are disembarking from a plane on one of those movable stairways. The one in the front says, "There's nobody here to meet us!" Another one says, "Maybe we arrived too early!" In the foreground, taking up nearly half the panel, is a robot face with a pilot's hat, holding a little radio mic in its robot hand. The robot is saying, "Pas-sen-gers are de-bark-ing, master! They did not dis-cov-er that their pi-lot was a ro-bot!"
A VHS set of the original Star Trek cast movies. The spines of the tapes make a picture of the Enterprise, but this set was clearly designed before Star Trek VI, because the Enterprise image is finished on Star Trek V. The spine of Star Trek VI just has space on is and some of the red background that the Enterprise is flying out of.
A VHS set of the original Star Trek cast movies. The spines of the tapes make a picture of the Enterprise, but this set was clearly designed before Star Trek VI, because the Enterprise image is finished on Star Trek V. The spine of Star Trek VI just has space on is and some of the red background that the Enterprise is flying out of.
A news chyron reads "Local News: West Monroe Man Built A Skate Park in His Backyard." The image shows a circular shape. A man inside it seems to be in motion. It's unclear that he's skateboarding. Image artifacts make it seem like he's only half there. It's unnerving.
An image of Wallace from Wallace and Gromit with a fish-bowl looking contraption on his head with some solar panels sticking out of it while he sits. It looks like Cerebro.
A storefront that appears to have a Dunkin' Donuts on the left side and a CBD dispensary on the right side. You'd think they were separate businesses that are just next to each other, but there's only one entrance.
Willem Dafoe looking extra creepy in Wild At Heart. His teeth are basically stumps and he's grinning maniacally.
text that reads "Is Congress Doing Enough for Mark Turetsky Voice Overs?"
A screengrab from the Simpsons. A monkey wearing a diaper looks exhausted (and also has gotten fat) he has entered the sentence "Pray for Mojo" into a small speech computer.
Lucy and Andy from Twin Peaks
A drawing. A human-sized catlike demon is carrying a figure in a bible-style robe with a halo. Almost like he's setting up a Christmas creche somewhere.
A photo of a suburban road. It's foggy, to the point where you cants see anything in the distance and medium distance trees just seem to be gray shapes
The tiny bird carving dinner scene from Eraserhead.
Columbo shakes hands with Robby the Robot from Forbidden Planet.
A screengrab from Columbo. A boy in a blue lab coat plays chess against the Forbidden Planet robot. There are giant old-school computers in the background. Jose Ferrer looks on.
It's Homer's hallucination of dancing on a beach with ice cream cones and lollipops, but instead of Sugar, Sugar, it's the lyrics to The Loco-Motion
A comic cover for X-Men: X-Tinction Agenda. On it, Archangel is flanked by Wolverine and Cable. It's vaguely reminiscent of the Friendship Ended with Mudasir image.
It's Mads Mikkelsen from TV's Hannibal. He's looking at an unseen interlocutor, with an inquisitive look on his face. The caption reads, "If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it."
Girl onstage with her fists up. She is dressed as The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl
Selfie with an "I voted" sticker. The Louisiana sticker features a crawfish in a top hat and tails.
My twitter account, which reads "Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago..."
Principal Skinner from the Steamed Hams scene. He's looking a bit nervous and unsure how to proceed.
David Lynch saying "no."
Grinch doing his squinty grimace face
Shlub Winnie the Pooh: "Arguing with a comics creator over which superhero can beat up which." Tuxedo Winnie the Pooh: "Arguing with a comics creator over which superhero can out-invent which."
It's Jamie Lee Curtis from True Lies. She's sitting in an office cubicle. She looks fine, if a bit oversmooth. Wait... what's going on with the photos behind her? They look much too detailed and... wrong...
An Amazon book listing, reading, "The Drowned: From award-winning author John Banville, a searing literary thriller: Detective Inspector Strafford and pathologist Quirke team up again (Strafford and Quirke Book 4)" as the title of a novel
It's Roy Batty from his "tears in rain" speech in Blade Runner. Except he's got Winnie the Pooh's head. Winnie has a cut and is bleeding from it. Caption reads, "tut tut, looks like rain."
Text from Twelfth Night, ". Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun, it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool should be as oft with your master as with my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there."
A photo of a large black color photo enlarger. It is sitting on the floor, taller then the dining room set it's next to by quite a bit.
Screenshot from The Rings of Power. Halbrand is pleading with Celebrimbor. The subtitle reads, "But to plead with you to make Rings for Men."
Two stills from I Saw The TV Glow. Maddy asks Owen, "What about you do you like girls?" Owen replies, "I think that I like TV shows."
It's Edgar from Men in Black. Text reads, "Um. We're gonna do two dozen. Just a random assortment of stuff here." If you're lost on this, this is what JD Vance said while very awkwardly ordering donuts in an attempt to appear "normal."
Ciaran Hinds' unnamed Dark Wizard from Amazon's The Rings of Power. He has amazing long hair with a truly magnificent salt and pepper beard. He sits on an ornate stone throne while holding a huge staff in his right hand.
Profile images of Ernie and Bert. Ernie lists Bert as his friend. Bert lists Ernie as his roommate.
Gul Macet, a Cardassian played by Marc Alaimo (who also played Dukat). He has facial hair that's like a handlebar mustache if it didn't have the mustache part.
An extreme closeup on the clock being's face. It looks like shocked trash.
The ending of the Gospel of Mark, which reads: 4 But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. 5 As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed. 6 “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. 7 But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’” 8 Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.
Buster Keaton riding on a train's cow catcher in the 1926 cinema classic The General
Rick and Carl meme. First panel, Rick is saying "shut the hell up for 30 seconds about Sonic, Carl." Carl responds "Dad, it's Pikachu." Second panel Rick is saying "shut the hell up for 30 seconds about pikachu."