Starshark

@starshark.bsky.social

1267 Followers 646 Following

Australia’s best* news aggregator. “Worse than Wapo” - New York Times “Somehow worse than us.” - Washington Post “No.” - Rolling Stone “Not as bad as Olivia Reingold.” - The Free Press * Publisher’s estimate

Dude shooting himself up, possibly because he seems to be trying to play Hold 'em with a joker in the deck (screw that just play it properly you losers) skull on table next to him for symbolism (death probably). Jesus is taking the drug into his tattooed arm (?) instead of the junky. He looks like he's in pain and the painting is called some crap like when you take drugs you hurt jesus too which is insane he's omnipotent and omniscient he not only saw this coming he could totally do something about it sounds like a serious skill issue. Whoever made this is giving SERIOUS mixed signals. Also Jesus is stealing that guy's drugs that's why I call him dope thief what a bastard that stuff probably cost AT LEAST fifty bucks.
Superman walking past Darkseid who has grabbed his cape as if to say “Hold up a sec”,
Spanish soccer team celebrating, not even looking at the dizzy old man wandering the stage with them staring off into space with an idiot's half smile on his face with no idea where the hell he is much less how he got there. FIFA mob boss Infantino, not wanting to risk a payday, hurries to hustle him back to his handlers who will do a quick diap check and blast him with 5000cc's of something that's illegal to sell anywhere.
Panel from Preacher Book 5: Dude with eyepatch yelling at white supremacist: "Why is it the greatest champions of the white race always turn out to be the worst examples of it? YOU!" "Wh-wh-wh-?" "WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR CHIN?"
Two posts, one from OP, the other from 'christina' @formeresq.bsky.social 46s ago I hate the raccoon with birth defects you all keep posting. Get it away from me. Silent hill ass raccoon.
Comedy actor Graeme Garden who is probably best known as one third of The Goodies. Note that he actually hasn’t done anything to anyone afaik
From a web page which is supposed to tell you which phones are good for senior citizens. "Best Mobile Phones for Seniors in 2026. Here are our top picks to make your decision easier. 1) Apple iPhone 16 (price) 2) Apple iPhone 15 (price), 3) Samsung Galaxy S24 (price), 4) Apple iPhone 14 Pro" Smart phones are not suitable for many seniors, they are too complicated to use.
“But there were so many red flags,” the argument goes, pointing to the sexting, tattoo, and Reddit posts. Think about that argument for a moment: it means that people should be disqualified from public office for things there isn’t evidence they actually did, just “red flags” from which they can supposedly be divined. Ruling out anyone with Reddit post-level flaws bars millions of otherwise decent people from politics. The only people left are the exact kind of squeaky-clean, McKinsey consultant politicians that was the entire point of my Platner article in the first place.
Just a big black square. I bet a bunch of other people did this joke. Well, bunnies to them. I'm doing it too. Also it's probably more of a rectangle than a square, I forgot to check.
Barnaby Joyce, on his back on the footpath, suit unkempt, holding a mobile phone to his ear.
Reciept allegedly from a waiter which is complaining about the tip not being 35%. It’s supposed to be hand written. There are two emojis at the end in blue and yellow.
Screencap from Youtube: LOOMER by Aamon Animations. Giant, grotesque parody of a human face, distorted almost beyond mortal ken. But still kinda looks better than how Laura usually looks.
Wile E Coyote from the Warner Bros cartoons holding a dinky little umbrella which has a bow on top for some reason under some falling rubble which is preceding a bigass boulder.
Summary for Pickleball Princess: 2023 * Romance/Sport IMDB 2.7/10 (probably based on only a hundred votes because no-one watches this shit, make of that what you will)
Promo poster for Pickleball Princess by famous Christian evangelical auteur Donald James Parker. Made in a Microsoft Publisher knock-off app. Crappy pink crown with a pickleball (same shade of pink) on top of one of the sticky-out bits on the top of the crown, you know, those things that stick up in the air with the little balls on the end. Anyway. Crudely pasted below is a picture of a pickleball court with a shot of three of the actors (DJP is on the right, old, not sexually attractive at all despite what the movie would lead you to believe), list of the actors above it. Looks like hammered shit, just like this movie, and every movie DJP has ever made. I hesitate to say he's as bad as Neil Breen, but at the very least he's serious competition. Pickleball!
"Especially in the line of work that I do — working with the underprivileged and the disabled people — I think she would be definitely up there supporting us and supporting us in that realm of working life. [quote continues in article, but it's just the usual crap about how Pauline Hanson speaks her mind - ed]
Marvel Legends 10th Anniversary Edition (or some crap like that) Red Skull action figure. Dude's head is a red skull. And he's got like a weird costume on, I'd need Derek Guy to explain it, but it looks like he's kinda wearing two suit jackets yeah weird I can't explain it
My schnauzer puppy, Raven von Schnauze, lying on her back with her paws up in the air, head tilted to the side, giving a cheeky smile. I never leave the house except to walk her.
Poster with a windings yellow sun in the corner says THIS SUMMER Slip, slop, slap, seek, slide, sort, sandwich, sauté, send, soup, Saskatoon, sorority, sunbake, specialise, specialize then 1/2
The second reason—perhaps mildly more im-portant—is that the phrase “you are dumb” capturesthe very heart of parody: tricking readers into believ-ing that they’re seeing a serious rendering of some spe-cific form—a pop song lyric, a newspaper article, apolice beat—and then allowing them to laugh at theirown gullibility when they realize that they’ve fallenvictim to one of the oldest tricks in the history of rhet-oric. See San Francisco Bay Guardian, Inc. v. Super. Ct.,21 Cal. Rptr. 2d 464, 466 (Ct. App. 1993) (“[T]he verynature of parody . . . is to catch the reader off guard atfirst glance, after which the ‘victim’ recognizes that thejoke is on him to the extent that it caught him una-ware.”)
David Hicks, the one who was married to Lady Pamela Mountbatten. I honestly can't describe this guy except to say he looks like a photoshop designed to make you feel weird because of uncanny valley effect. He looks like two heads, one crudely smooshed on top of the other. He looks like a Star Wars alien that was cut from the final film because children kept crying in the audience. He looks like a boss villian from an NES game.
Godzooky (not how I’d spell it but I’m not about to fight the fan wiki) from the Hanna Barbera cartoon Godzilla. Green guy, fits comfortably on the prow of a science vessel, little green winged arms, cute goofy expression on his face uwu. Otherwise looks like a bipedal lizard kaiju.
Raven, salt-and-pepper schnauzer puppy. Curled up in her bed with her toy frog that she brought to bed with her. She is side-eyeing the camera in that weird way only schnauzers can pull off. Maybe she thinks I'm going to get her toy.
From maple cocaine on twitter back when it was good: "Conservatives: Lets round up Muslims and put them in camps Liberals: HIRE :clap emoji: MORE :clap emoji: WOMEN :clap emoji: GUARDS :clap emoji:"
Cover to The Little Frog’s Guide to Self Care by Maybell Eequay. Frog with mushroom hat doing the splits with thigh-high heeled boots.
OP’s post. Below it is an old timey ad with a frog using Hoyt’s German cologne for some godforsaken reason. They didn’t know anything about graphic design back then so the frog looks eerily real, its buggy eyes staring into the distance. YA GOTTA MAKE FROGS LOOK CARTOONY! REAL FROGS LOOK WEIRD!
John Podhoretz with his stupid background which is a bookshelf as if he wants you to believe he can read. He looks like he's about to freak out. This is Kuleshov effect, in fact I just capped him out of context.
The Court of Appeal said media outlets were legally responsible as publishers of Facebook comments "from the outset" because they "encouraged and facilitated" the comments by having Facebook pages. The court said it was immaterial that they deleted the comments after becoming aware of them.
Jonathan Swan in infamous interview with Trump. Two photos. First photo, he's looking at some dumbass fucking graphic that Trump gave him that proves down is up or whatever shit was going through the porridge that makes up Trump's brain. Second picture: his reaction. Best summed as, "WTF?"
Review from Simon_J_Rodgers "Tries too hard There is quite a lot to be said about this series and I'm gonig [sic] to try to be as fair as possible."
Headline under the subject category 'Formula 1': "Hamilton claims famous Ferrari win, F1 leader suffers late car failure" Geddit? Eh? Eh? Tough crowd.
From Alison Fisk @alisonfisk on twitter. "Bronze head of the Roman emperor Augustus. Known as the Meroë Head. Eyes inlaid with glass and stone, 27-25 BC. Penny for your thoughts Augustus? This head once belonged to an over-life-sized statue of Augustus set up in Egypt. It was removed by Kushite soldiers who took it as under the front steps of their temple at Meroë (Sudan) where it was trodden on daily by temple visitors in a sign of disrespect to Rome. An ironic twist of fate which preserved it. The Meroë Head is usually displayed in an upright position. It is displayed here as if buried, a symbol of resistance to Rome, at the British Museum’s 2018 temporary exhibition called ‘I object’. Photo my own. Read more: https://www.britishmuseum.org/collection/object/G_1911-0901-1 "
from @laurajedeed.bsky.social : "Gun safes, gun locks, ammunition stored apart from the gun, and gun safety classes can drop those odds [gun owners shooting themselves or a loved one] to damned near zero [not true]. Anyone can be a responsible gun owner if they choose to do so [epistemically suspect statement]. I am once again gesturing vaguely at Belfast [nothing this person has typed demonstrates they have the slightest fucking idea about Belfast, much less the Troubles]." square brackets indicate editorializing on my part. 66 likes, 121 replies, 112 quotes.
From fuck the moon @fuckthem00n 10/17/19: fly me to the moon let me kick it's [sic] fucking ass let me show it what i learned in my moon jujitsu class 28k retweets 111k likes Next tweet, same person: wow this blew up. wish the moon would.
Same schnauzer, same quilt, looking at the camera with one eye peering out from under her fur.
Raven von Schnauze, schnauzer puppy. On her back on a quilt, legs up in the air, mouth closed, looks like she's kicked the bucket.
Poster for the overlooked Australian comedy Bigger Than Tina. The protagonist, Dan Vardy Cobb, is wearing round sunglasses and wearing cans while singing into a microphone, giving it his all. On the poster is a bunch of shit some critics said but I can't read it because it's too small. You aren't the only one with eyesight problems, you know!
From rubbercat's "Anthropomorphic Republican Talking Duck" cartoon: Duck dressed as a Fox news talking head in the first panel says, "Doncha think it's awfully hypocritical for Al Gore to call on people to embrace a 'carbon-neutral lifestyle'........." [yes, that many elipses - ed] We then see a picture of Al Gore drawn as unflatteringly as possible, buck teeth, walleyed, spider hanging from his hair, some kind of tag hanging from his jacket, reading a book entitled LIES. Final panel, same duck, one eyebrow raised smugly: "..... when he himself is MADE of carbon?!?!"
Red-tailed phascogale. Think of a small possum, but with a more chipmunk-like head. Long furry tail. Beautiful dark eyes. Stripe down the nose.
Screencap of arch idiot Olivia Reingold with her hands up in the air for emphasis (or maybe to stop her fake lips from falling off, one of the two). Caption: "I read".
Trichobatrachus robustus aka hairy frog aka wolverine frog (“I’m the best at what I do!”). As you may have guessed, it looks hairy. But I don’t think it’s real hair.
An illustration, probably for a newspaper, of the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. Sorry to ruin the bit in the alt text. I have no way of accurately describing the picture while not letting on that it's in no way Portland or anything to do with George Floyd.
AMWU Vic - Campbell’s Soups On Thursday (7/5), AMWU members at Campbell’s Soups factory near Shepparton walked off the job for 24 hours. Bosses are seeking to cut the permanent workforce at the factory in favour of a more casualised workforce. Workers have been offered a 7.7% wage increase over 3 years, but only if they accept an increase of the current casual cap of 15% of the workforce to “an indefinite number”. This dispute is as much about fighting for secure jobs as it is about wages and conditions. Campbell’s Soup is owned by the Arnotts Group which reported over $1.6 billion in revenue last year.
X-Men trade cover. Older Wolverine is protecting Kitty Pryde while in the middle of a spotlight. Behind them is a poster of all the X-Men with banners plastered across their faces saying either SLAIN or APPREHENDED.
Six month old schnauzer with her head between balcony rails. Head tilted a little to the side. Classic schnauzer move, that. Crappy lawnmower visible to her left, don't look at that, I know I know, I shouldn't have bought it. Her name is Raven. Raven von Schnauze.
Skeleton of anhinga (aka snake bird it says here). Has a zig-zag neck. Caption: "Skeleton, showing the hinge-like articulation between the eight and ninth cervical vertebrae". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhinga
Lucky Ducky "The Poor Little Duck Who's Rich in Luck" in "Gimme Shelter" Rich guy at Houndco. Most of this strip is head talking to head, so I will just do the dialogue and omit the panel descriptions. Assistant: Sir, the IRS is here. IRS to Rich guy: ...and the tax on your corporate income is a simple 35%. Rich guy: WHAT?! I'll create a foreign subsidiary to shelter income. IRS: Then I'M writing regulations to ensure it's a real operating company! RG: Grrr... I'll create bonus contracts between companies to bring back profits, tax-free! IRS: Now I'll write rules to make sham contracts ineffective! RG: Then I'll create an intermediary company in Bermuda! IRS: On it! RG: ...Owned by a trust in the Caymans... IRS: Writing regs on trusts! RG: (a bunch of overlaying bubbles where rich guy comes up with tax avoidance schemes which get foiled by regulations) RG: You know, the whole problem with the US tax law is that it's TOO COMPLICATED! IRS: >pant pant< RG: (walking down street) Well, it was hard work, but I got my rich company's rate down to 8%! [hot dog stand with Lucky Ducky talking to the stall holder] Ducky: Can I buy one with my paychck? Hot Dog guy: Um, yup. You barely make it... WITH THE SALES TAX OF 8%! RG: (angry with jealousy at the poor guy's outrageous fortune) LUCKY DUCKY! Lucky Ducky: (catchphrase) GOTCHA!
From 3 days ago. Me (to the turkey Thembo is referring to): I don't know what gibberish you're babbling about. I probably don't care. Anthonon: You literally blaming me for not curating my posts after the fact of someone else stalking me. [none of this is true - Ed] Me: Calm down, princess. No-one's stalking your dumb ass. [this is true, especially the part about his dumb ass - Ed] Him: They literally did what are you talking about. Me: [posts gif of Dan Olson saying 'we made it up' like Riker did in that show he did after Star Trek]
Graham Platber with totenkopf tattoo on chest.
Sealion comic by Wondermark. It features a sealion being a pain in the ass, demanding people debate him.
Copypasta: "When you were partying, I studied the blade. When you were having premarital sex, I mastered the blockchain. While you wasted your days at the gym in pursuit of vanity, I cultivated inner strength. And now that the world is on fire and the barbarians are at the gate you have the audacity to come to me for help?" Picture: Nerd with jeans and a brown polo shirt with glasses half-drawing a katana (probably).
The Global Sumud Flotilla "violates UN Resolution 2803, which stipulated that aid to Gaza should enter through accepted official channels," Katz said. The flotilla, therefore, "harms the settlement efforts led by the Trump administration as part of the effort to achieve regional stability," he added.
The news headline pun guy from Shaun Micallef’s Mad As Hell. “It’s just a bit of fun”
Johnson said the ballroom won't have hotel rooms above it like the Hilton - where the accused shooter was a registered guest - and it would feature "seven-inch thick glass" on the windows to provide a safe environment for large events.
Jaiymez Wvardeh or w/e his stupid name is. Standing proud. With a pair of titties a lot of trans ladies wouldn't mind, at least for a start. Why he thinks this looks good is anyone's guess.
Random cap from 'bad batman cosplay'. TBF I don't think this is a cosplayer, he's holding a beer, he's probably just goofing at a costume party trying to chill and have fun. But his costume sucks, and he didn't shave his mustache.
When the president was asked at a press briefing late Saturday why he’s been targeted by several attempted gunmen now, Trump said he’s “studied assassinations,” and they often target “the most impactful people” and “the big names.” https://zeteo.com/p/trump-evacuated-white-house-correspondents-dinner-dc
Mama Murphy from the videogame Fallout 4.
Batman from Frank Miller and Lynne Varley's Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. He is breaking a shotgun in two with sheer force of awesomeness. His word bubble says, "FUCK! didn't mean to do that-". For the vision impaired, this is edited. The original text was something like "This is the weapon of the enemy! We do not need it! We will not use it!"