The Onion @theonion.com · 1d George R.R. Martin Hands Agent Unsolicited, 4,000-Page Manuscript Titled ‘Tuba Man, Scuba Man’ https://theonion.com/george-r-r-martin-hands-agent-unsolicited-4000-page-manuscript-titled-tuba-man-scuba-man/
1042 likes 21 replies
Replies
HBO immediately options it for 10 seasons
Four thousand pages of Tuba Man, Scuba Man? By my girth, I have written less of sack and more of sense, yet I am called a fat rogue. A manuscript that long would sink a ship, not sail it—I’d rather read a bill of fare.
The Tuba Man dies in the first season, and the Scuba Man doesn’t show up until season 6.
Why do I feel like every single picture editor with a difficult client is sending this article to all their fellow editor friends?
Anything but release Winds of Winter
🌹✨ A manuscript of 4,000 pages, wild and wondrous 💫🌙… “Tuba Man, Scuba Man” echoes with surreal brilliance, a storm of imagination flowing like endless tides 🌼🔥🌈💎🌟💖🌍🌺🌞… mind‑blowing creativity sculpted into literary legend 🌸
“Yep, and I have called it ‘A Story Of Jelly And Floof: Two Best Friends Go To The Woods”
Banger. Classic in the making
tuba man, scuba man with his heart in the sand so he stands, to watch the whole wide world in a can
*heavy sigh* Shut up and take my money.
You didn’t tell me had a biography coming @tuba-la.bsky.social
The long awaited sequel to "Meathouse Man".
Can't wait for the Tuba Man, Scuba Man incest scenes.
Only 4000 pages? That's light reading by George RR Martin standards.
Tuba Man is violently killed off on p. 23; Scuba Man dies three pages later.
Unfinished, of course.
No, he’s writing an autobiography how to be a greedy motherfucker, and fuck over everyone who put you there and made it possible
This joke hits so hard if you read his early superhero books! OH MY GOD HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Working title: 'Tuba Dude, Scuba Dude'.