slowbeef @effinslowbeef.com · Mar 5 Here’s two tales of the dark id and his fake wife The first one is about kittens and foreplay The second is where they process their grief about their daughter in a thing @kobuddy.bsky.social once called “WIFE FUCK FIGHT”
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look, I absolutely believe that there are people out there getting into fistfights in a horny kind of way, but a cis het man being one of those people? absolutely not
damn so he def retired to marry an AI right
I once stayed up all night because I was utterly enthralled by his Nier LP and had to see how it ended. Then I cranked out the last paper I needed to graduate college in the 3-ish hours I had left before the deadline. This somehow puts that memory in an even weirder light.
aw they both write in the exact same way thats true love right there
like even if - if, obviously we agree this is all untrue - any of this was true, why the fuck would you tell anyone on the internet. why would you share such a deeply personal and vulnerable thing with a bunch of goony internet people. literally quoting it line for line blow for blow lol
Ugh, so fucking cringe. I also feel cringe for getting fooled by his fake daughter existing and the empathy i had about her passing.
I’m glad our wives have met and can verify one another exists. Unfortunately, that is a closed system which requires more wives to avoid accusations of conspiracy.
at first i thought the whole compulsive liar thing was just like, oh he's just a goon posting "in-character" rather than being sincere about his life or whatever, but they you post screenshots of his second account where he roleplays as his own wife and it's like. buddy what are we doing here
"I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson, but I am (not) for reeeaaall."
"Oh no, we're definitely having rough sex once we're finished." - What I say to my wife after a jigsaw puzzle
ok I knew about the... Fuckin, assassin wife trying to kill each other until they quoted video games or whatever, but I somehow missed the headbutting battle sex thing, amazing that he kept this going for so long. You could have a whole wiki devoted to it
This is real i am the neighbor i filed a domestic disturbance report
For those new, almost none of this was in his Something Awful content for most of the time he was posting. He was the funny guy doing semi-parody screenshot LPs. The weird persona thing seemed to have become prominent via his personal "community" in Discord later on. Compulsive lying is a sickness.
Like, I've read most of this before, but it still catches me off guard every single time just how deeply everything was made into some kind of video game reference with him. *Regaling the story of horrible domestic violence* "HOLY SHIT IT WAS JUST LIKE KIRYU!!! SHE'S SO BADASS!"
... There's a name I haven't thought of in forever
Most sane Drakengard fan.
Honestly wild to me the silent hill lp guy has lore
@ryyudo.bsky.social example of The Lore (which we briefly talked about at MAG, after the Drakengard panel)
Boy did I really miss out by getting married and going on my honeymoon with MY ABSOLUTELY REAL EX WIFE at the exact same time his fake daughter died. I was very "this guy is full of shit but in a funny way so whatev" for ages but would have absolutely lost it if I had witnessed that at the time.
me casually finding my true love by re-enacting the they live fight scene with her
ok so like... This guy was somewhat before my time on these parts of the internet, did people believe him at the time? Or was he considered a joke to his contemporaries even back then