Existential Comics @existentialcomics.com · Aug 27 Imagine getting called up for Jury Duty, having to take time off work or get a babysitter or whatever. And then it's just the State wanting to imprison a guy over a turkey sandwich.
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I know that grand juries don’t do voir dire, but it’s fun to imagine a jury selection process for this, the prosecution trying to ferret-out normal people’s sandwich-related biases.
If I was the judge, I'd have the plaintiff jailed for wasting my time.
What's the charge? Eating a meal?
Honestly, it’d be the greatest day of my life. Shoot the shit with fellow jurors, talk about jury nullification, easiest decision to decline, two middle fingers to the State.
It is a slippery slope though. Today it is a sandwich. Tomorrow it could be soup. Or pasta. Maybe pizza?
I'm gonna be honest, I think I'd mark that in the personal win column. I get to do my 12 Angry Men shit for the dumbest case possible.
Federal Grand Juries are empaneled for a year of service and typically serve 1 week per month. So they get to see a lot of different cases. This late in the year, they know what the general rules are and how to see thru BS.