The Needling

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Seattle's Only Real Fake News (Satire/Parody) Have a hot headline tip? Send it to Submit@TheNeedling.com TheNeedling.com

New Seahawks owner Vinod Khosla smiling in front of a Seahawks presser background with Seahawks logos on it
Raccoon by tree adorably looking up at camera
Baby Jimothy leaping out of Henry mural on a fence with the back half of body still in painted form as a weird looking unicorn playing a guitar on green grass in the background looks at him
Family leaping for joy in front of home as they spot Jimothy's "presents" in the grass (pewp)
Bumble bees on lavender flowers at lavender farm surrounded in purple haze
Local viral social media sensation, Jimothy--a raccoon in Ballard with short spine syndrome--loping across the grass
Petit Pierre Bakery's croissant supreme, a circular pastry standing on its side with chocolate creatively adorning top
ICE Agent laying limp on the grassy ground with the back of his bulletproof vest reading "POLICE ICE"
Close up of lower back tattoo on older woman wearing black bikini featuring tribal art and cursive lettering saying "Love My Bibi"
Orange, black and white butterfly sucking nectar out of orange plant
Seattle Waterfront aglow before sunset on perfect summer day as World Cup match watchers walk north toward Seattle Great Wheel
Happy man celebrating US World Cup match win with others while draped in American flag and wearing shirt with red fist icon on it
Man's arm pointing sparkling rainbow Pride flag at Seattle Stadium field toward World Cup match
Bill Gates speaking to reporters with his hands clasped in front of his chest as if he's pleading to be understood
Man happily looking toward the Seattle Waterfront with a Limebike in hand, with a line of several Limebikes with multi-colored seats in the background
Group of friends in swimsuits in paddle boat splashing other friends swimming in middle of lake on sunny summer day.
Three fathers in different areas of T-Mobile Park's baseball field touching and lovingly gazing upon expertly manicured green grass
On left, image of man chopping wood, on right image of man chopping raw meat
Packed crowds at Seattle Waterfront's Overlook Walk for World Cup on beautiful sunny day with blue sky and Downtown skyscrapers in background
Bald bearded man rolling his eyes and folding his arms as woman points and demands he leave Mox Boarding House where D&D groups play.
On the left, a photo of bright green algae in Seattle's Green Lake and, on the right, a photo of bright green algae in D.C. Reflecting Pool
Image on left of New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani watching a Knicks game in a Knicks jersey with friends, Image on right of smiling Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson sporting Seahawks gear including a Super Bowl ring on her finger
Light rail train crossing I-90 bridge into Bellevue surrounded by I-90 car traffic
Men fighting in ferry line as two men look excitedly on their phones
Four quadrants featuring four separate people stressing about what to text the World Cup on their phones.
Group of ICE agents in masks on Seattle Waterfront next to Great Wheel and Miners Landing
Stressed out man with head in hands outside of Starbucks cafe
Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson talking at Mount Baker light rail station press conference while car stuck on train tracks in background.
Red Mazda a woman drove onto light rail train tracks straight into the elevated platform of Mount Baker Station Tuesday
Man happily saying hi and waving to someone outside on a sunny day
Mark Zuckerberg's superyacht, named Launchpad, erupts in flames on Lake Union with Seattle night skyline in background.
Trio of orcas side-eying camera
The Needling Real Fake Newsroom Workshop: Join us for 3 weeks of unparalleled real fake journalism training mentorship and collaboration. Begins June 2. Image of typewriter over backdrop of evergreens.
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg's Superyacht docked in Seattle's Lake Union with Space Needle in distance
Four photos of Washington on a sunny spring day. Top left: Mount Rainier with wildflowers, Top Right: Orca jumping with mountains in background, Bottom left: Ferry coming into Seattle Waterfront with city skyline, Bottom right: Snoqualmie Falls with a rainbow coming out of its mist
Stressed out man looking over budget on laptop near a pool in a luxury home's back yard on a beautiful evening
Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson talking at a podium while holding a Victrola iced coffee
New public bathrooms in Seattle operated by Throne, a startup that keeps bathrooms clean through the innovative use of regularly cleaning and maintaining them
Norwegian 17th of May parade in Ballard with Norwegian flag-toting people throwing out lutefisk and free university acceptance shirts
Image of Florence Pugh smiling at the end of the movie Midsommar with a headline reading: "How to Get Rid of Toxic People by Becoming May Queen at Ballard's Syttende Mai"
Widely distributed photo of man from Covington, Wash. throwing a rock at an endangered monk seal in Hawaii
Tall brick containment wall looming over a Bainbridge Island marina with a sign reading "Everyone Is Welcome Here" in rainbow colors with hands of every race holding red hearts in their hands
Conservative Supreme Court Justices floating to ceiling of Supreme Court building
Rich older man wearing collared shirt under sweater looking across Lake Washington with a giant waterfront mansion with a dock behind him
Child in happy hospital bed with IV connected to hand hugging a teddy bear
Text: Updated Light Rail Construction Timeline Image: Arrow pointing to system map with timeline reading on left "Now: Ongoing construction" to point on right reading "End of Cenozoic Era: Sound Transit Light Rail System Completion!"
Helicopter plopping Laurelhurst into Lake Washington with a big splash
Man's hand holding airhorn outside waterfront home with dock
Explosion of feathers in the air as fans unveil Randy Johnson's retired number at T-Mobile Park
Four actors taking a bow with the Bellevue skyline behind them
Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson wearing luxury sunglasses and fur coat as she waits to board Route 8 bus